haven

Mommy and Auden at the doctor's office yesterday. I'm no photographer, but I thought the big ole mirror lent itself to a cool shot.

We took Auden to South Haven today. It was his first roadtrip. He slept through the entire thing... perfect! M and I got some lunch at a little cafe and went to an old, dusty used bookstore, then walked the boardwalk down to the shore. It was beautiful outside.

I'm still having trouble feeling guilty about needing to leave the house to get my work done (and by work I mean my writing... I've been getting course work and teaching prep done at home just fine, but I can't seem to find any groove at home for my creative work). M's an extraordinary mother... the best, really. But I still feel like I shouldn't be leaving her alone too often... and I really don't. I'm not gone much. But I need to get my ass in gear. I think M and I will set up a schedule so that I can have 5-10 hours a week out of the house solely to focus on my writing. She's cool with this idea and so am I. She wants me to write in the mornings, so I'm home in the evenings... boooo. I'm a night writer. Not anymore though. Time to compromise. And I will.

I've been reading Charles Wright lately... a lot. Trying to study him systematically. I'm interested in pursuing some critical writing about him, though not right at the moment. I find his use of line obliteratingly genius.

Also thinking a lot about getting my first manuscript published. It's such a fucking hard thing to live with, the sending out of the book, the waiting, the cost, the competition. I wish I could just snap my fingers and hear some good news, but there's also something alluring about the hunt, the stalking and preying/praying. It's carnal. And I like carnal.